Friday 12th May 2017 4:12pm
Work on the other hand. Pick a medium you're comfortable with, then work with your non-dominant hand. 'if' you usually favour your right hand then only use your left and vice-versa.
MATERIALS: Pouch of tobacco larger than you really wanted but the government thinks its better for us to buys loads and loads at once so there you go; One neat fresh virginal lovely pure as the driven snow white cigarette paper; A bunch of other, pre-rolled, fags to keep you going while you attempt this...
METHOD: Roll a cigarette using one hand only and in fact the 'non-dominant' hand as per the instructions above. That's it. That's all. As a rolling aid you might want a strong and stable surface, like a desktop or a rigour-mortis stiffened cadeverous corpse of a creepy yewtree conservative big-wig - I chose the former. I hope one day to progress to hand-rolling wholly in-hand, but frankly the whole process was driving me nuts and I needed a rolling surface.
NARRATIVE: Turning that initial beautiful virginal paper into a twisted crooked screwy tobacco wrap is the perfect capitalist metaphor - let's turn everything to shit then burn it up in smoke;