Ant Smith

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You are not alone

Saturday 28th May 2011 4:10pm

Why my poetry isn't comedy and why I should be on Breakfast TV

It seems I can split a room as easily as if I were to try to split my girl's twat in twain with my curious chopper.

And I hope with that I have set the tone. Some of ya will have stopped reading already. Good. You're one less bigot to worry about.

In my opening I first state one short concrete fact: as a performer I can split a room. I then wrap this in a lugubrious almost animated grotesquery. The main points all snap into focus by the alliteration: Twat in Twain, Curious Chopper - and their rhythmic spacing makes them comic.

In short, entertaining.

Ha, but now I have to think about the bigots who may be reading on. "There are some things you're not allowed to say". The imagery is certainly somewhat challenging, especially considering the furore my fellow poet Ernesto has stirred up over the appropriateness of representing consensual rape. But this is a pretty throwaway line - they get deeper into the darkness than that. Consider the full lyric of my newest:

you know it's not a good day

when you start it digging graves.

dear mortician

i need a remind-ah

do me a favour

and gently scalp her

it's okay, it need not show

for you can take it

from down below

i said i would love her

for ever and a day

i meant i would love her

from beyond the grave

please please help me

misbehave

let me fuck her

before she decays

dear gynaecologist

i need me a hole

some where suitable

to stick my pole

my mummified cock

her charcoal chasm

she rigor mortised

when i spasmed

dear taxidermist

i need a loving look

but her eyes have

turned to puss

let me help you

stuff her up

just about ripe for

a skull fuck

i said i would love her

for ever and a day

i meant i would love her

from beyond the grave

please please help me

misbehave

let me fuck her

before she decays

i wanna fuck her before she decays

i wanna fuck her before she decays

i wanna fuck her before she decays

i wanna fuck her till the end…

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