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Ant Smith
Creativity is an action not an attribute... Photographic Skill: The Book - now available HERE

Words

Shorty | Words | Ant Smith

Shorty

I have a tiny cock

Like a crooked little finger

Everybody else's dick

Is inevitably bigger

If six inch as an average

Can truly be believed

Someone here in this room

Is twice the size of me

If you can do your algebra

Already you will know

Four inches is the maximum

My dick will ever go

For the engineers among you

I'll express my ratio

My little one inch wonder

Up to four times it can grow

CHORUS:

He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick

But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!

Yes

He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick

But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!

My pubes are even longer

They make a comfy nest

With a little acorn sat

Upon the very crest

Rummage in my fly and

Wish that I were blessed

Searching frantically

I recover just the head

Get a little piss drip

Up on my finger tip

There's absolutely nothing there

For me to get a grip

If I sit to pee I must

Be wary of my jet

The angle of my dangle means

My trousers may get wet

CHORUS

He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick

But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!

Yes

He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick

But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!

I wank it with one finger

If you really want to know

And no I can't imagine

The feeling of deep throat

When I look down I can still

Clearly see my toes

But my little willy hides

Beneath my belly folds

Sometimes it is inverted

Even when it isn't cold

Like a little turtle

Inside of me it goes

Girls they like to tell me

It' such a cute surprise

Until I have to tell them I

Left the condom stuck inside

CHORUS

He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick

But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!

Yes

He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick

But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!

I'm hung like Mickey Mouse

I'm glad now to admit

For the greater pain exists

In propagating myths

According to the Internet

Real men have massive dicks

And you are next to useless

If you're 'only' average

So if you're sat with five or six then

Feel the relief

You no longer have to hide it

In shame and misery

For I'm the living proof you've got

Way more than you need

For even with four inches

My, girl's in love with me

CHORUS

He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick

But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!

Yes

He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick

But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!


The purposefully indiscrete bible cover

If you want to BUY The Small Penis Bible, you can do so here:

Any and all support is very much welcomed.

After writing Shorty and performing it a few times I stumbled into the first of many documentary projects that never really went anywhere; this one though did send out a mailshot through a proper marketing company and all at once things went viral...

I'll write the full story up one day (honest) but Shorty led to a kind of organic 'campaign for body positivity in men and the eradication of penis size shaming'.

Of course nothing got eradicated, but the conversation I started is still going on and one day life will be sweet for those who remain.

This campaign roughly broke down into:

  • 2014: The release of Shorty

  • 2015: The Big Small Penis Party

  • 2016: Publication of The Small Penis Bible

  • 2017: The Thriva 'nothing wrong with a little prick' campaign

  • 2018: Manhood Project and Life modelling for Harry's Razors

There was massive media attention at all stages - which you can re-live by listening, watching, reading or browsing the audio, video, text and photos scattered around this page; please enjoy.


A selection of the many articles that were written following the anti-shame campaign that sort of just happened:

A selection of articles


Here's some of the photographs and illustrations from the campaign, including a set of me performing at the Sexual Freedom Awards in the year that I was nominated:

Words