Thursday 9th June 2016 10:37pm
Sick of happy "memes" and social media bullshit somebody challenged me to report on 3 negatives a day, every day, for an entire week - like my full and complete life could rise to such a challenge... judge for yourselves, like I know you like to:
Day 1 of 7, 3 negatives a day
Someone suggested doing 3 negatives a day for 7 days after all the positivity that has been shared recently and that's just the kind of idea I'm gonna find irresistible no matter how much trouble it's bound to get me in to. Gee, thanks; this in itself is negative number 1.
I couldn't uproot the nettles on the car port because they were swarming with gorgeous little expressions of life. The bastards.
Eee Sunday, bloody sunday. 'Nuff said, surely?
Day 2 of 7, 3 negatives a day
The bloody sun is out. That's never a positive. It just means there's more people on the trains, on the streets, in the parks etc - and there's nothing more negative than people.
So I was asked to send some links to a promoter 5 months ago. I just remembered I'd heard nothing back and thought "hang on maybe they didn't get the email and are thinking I'm a right twat for not following up after they'd asked me to". But no, they did get the email they just never bothered to tell me they weren't interested. They were terribly polite about it though, I must say.
Spent the evening working on JPGs as that camera doesn't deliver RAW files. I wonder if this is what it's like to have to paint with your feet..?
Day 3 of 7, 3 negatives a day
20 minutes early for work FFS. What kind of daft bastard wants to spend an extra 20 minutes in work???
6 minutes before my first meeting of the day and it gets cancelled. Which means I could easily have gotten away with being 20 minutes late for work. Double FFS
One of the very few genuinely useful Facebook groups I belonged to (that served a true social need) just disappeared up in smoke. Another sign that all of the benefits of Facebook are undervalued in its fundamental commercial reason d'aitre.
Day 4 of 7, 3 negatives a day
49 minutes in to the day.
And I'm only allowed to pick 3 a day. That I could pick so many more is in and of it self a negative. Really I ought to be struggling to fill my quota but I'm not I'm really not. Every day it seems I find them earlier. I find them easier.
So you head home later than is good for you on a night out on a school night and the night has left you both in desperate need of a wee and of a tinny enroute to distract you from the other things you might do or say - I'd rather have had a better night, saved the money I spent on the tinny AND not pissed my pants. I'm 47 you know. (I didn't really piss my pants, not everything I say is worth listening to).
That I'm staring at the Football in the Lobster advert and I don't have any self adhesive googly eyes in my wallet.
Day 5 of 7, 3 negatives a day
The trouble with pure joy is that every moment passing is a moment you'll never again get to feel. So beautiful and yet so lost.
There has been a creeping shadow in my life for almost a week. I new it would envelop me in despair. Then it's time arrived and Chris made me watch it. The singer takes it all.
The last night for a time with the love of my life.
Day 6 of 7, 3 negatives a day
Even my ball bag is covered in ink. I draw like Pollock but of course way less good.
Normally reality disappoints fantasy but my wife is away and I discover once again that porn is just rubbish.
No matter how hard I try I always end up flicking my ash into the half full tinny on the table. And I can't even reliably now strain the contents through the gaps in my teeth, bloody dentists.
Day 7 of 7, 3 negatives a day
Somehow I lost a day. It's Sunday again. How can that be? My remaining life is far too short to be losing days.
I had a whole weekend free and yet managed to make only three drawings. At least they were crap.
Apparently I'm done now and don't need to struggle to find three negatives a day anymore. FFS does that mean my life is all sunlight and glory from now on? I really hate sunlight, the bastard thing.