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Ant Smith
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Born Free

I'm proud to be an accident

Of post coital-abstinence

I'm glad my daddy spawned me

With lust not common sense

I'm glad the spunk he jettisoned

Deep up inside my mum

Was not meant to make a me

But exploded out of fun

My destiny's to take the piss

That's how I was mixed

My chemicals they effervesce

I'm an accidental prick

Now some folk they'll need a kidney

And be glad they have offspring

And of course they brought them up

To do the decent thing

So when bandages need changing

Or when the bucket's filled with piss

no need to worry how to cope

Just call the bloody kids

My destiny's to serve you

And to take on your abuse

Then to pass it down the line

When I reproduce

Life maybe passed you by

And left you middle aged

But you can still find that fame

If you procreate

Oh look at how your baby screams

She's got a talent for the rage

Buy for her a booby job

And put her on the stage

My destiny's to amuse you

Just like a puppy dog

Even though it hurts me

When nothing's good enough

It's awful when a mother dies

And leaves her kids behind

Why couldn't god have taken

One of those barren useless kind

You're incomplete and worthless

If you have no dustbin lids

without that special bond you're

A crazy fucking witch

It's all about the kids

Won't you think about the kids

Let's pretend humanity

Cares about the kids