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Ant Smith
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Stage Poems

You can't do anything about it


You can't do anything about it 'cause I'm mad

You can't do anything about it 'cause I'm mad

Come on and have a try and I'll stab you in the eye

You can't do anything about it 'cause I'm mad

I'll organise your records a to z

Except the ones that go round in my head

I'll record your fav'rite films, most of the way through

'n complain whenever we're not watching friends


I will track your whereabouts the whole day through

I will know the dates and times you go the loo

If you drop a bomb, or pebble dash or spew

I will know about it before you


When I'm in the street I'll take a piss

And wave at drivers with my angry dick

And when the fucking pigs, tell me that I'm remiss

I will tell them they can suck on this.


I will use my special man juice on your chips

My vinegar strokes will make a healthy dip

If it doesn't stick in your throat, it shouldn't stick in your arse

And you would hate it if we were apart


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Stage Poems